Life is about connections...

Life is about connections. As a professor at Mizzou I am currently in the process of asking people two basic questions. First, I want to know what people say when asked, "To me, life is all about______________". And second I want to know what people will miss the most if they were to die tomorrow. So far it is clear that the majority report that life is about happiness. And what will people miss most? Family.

So why this blog? A wise and wonderful friend and mentor named Wally Goddard once told me early in my academic career, "There are primarily two types of writers. Those who write to impress, and those who write to bless. Choose carefully". I hope to be able to write to bless.

I have been blessed with amazing connections in my life, from my beautiful and kind wife and spunky kids, to my loving humble parents, four older sisters, and a younger brother. Other connections include supportive friends, colleagues, students, mentors and religious leaders. There are countless other connections-people who have influenced me for good, and I treasure these connections and relationships.

My job is the best. I get to learn about marriage, family, and other relationships then go teach this stuff to students at school. I also get to do research on whatever I want. But my favorite part of what I do is taking the research I do and learn about, and putting the principles and programs into practice  by presenting it in meaningful ways to people, including teachers, professionals, parents, couples, teenagers, and others. I love to share information that can improve relationships, the CONNECTIONS  we have with those who mean the most to us.

So why "Cup of Connection"? Most meaningful connections don't start out deep and meaningful. They often start because we have something in common with another person. Even the happiest marriages are made of two people who at one point never knew about or cared for each other. Pools are meant to hold water. I see meaningful relationships and connections like pools, some are more full than others. As we interact in positive ways with those who mean the most to us, we are creating deeper pools of connection. But this happens gradually, cup by cup.

Occasionally we get to have earth-shattering experiences that draw us together, and that may be like dumping an entire pitcher of water in our pools of connection. At other times we experience droughts in our relationships with others - no water is added and some evaporates during tough times. In fact, some connections, including marriages, are really shallow, and only a thimble full of water (meaningful connection) is added on occasion, while the pool is more like a puddle that gradually evaporates over time.

The aim of this blog is to share information I have learned from research and life experience simply as a way to promote deep and meaningful connections. If I can help others add cups of connection to their relationship pools, I have succeeded. And my hope is that I write to bless.